On Life and Death

Like an endless turbulent tide, the struggle between life and death ravages my soul and overwhelms my spirit.

To live is only to know pain and sorrow and to drink from the cup of forgotten dreams and vanquished hopes, to endure an endless struggle of aloneness and desperation.

We are born to know suffering. We journey through life attempting to create meaning and purpose from absolute futility and chaos. We run from the reality, that all we are is dust in the wind.

For we are here for a few short years, and then after we are gone, we are forgotten in only a few minutes. No one remembers or even cares that we were here.

Death is a sweet release. It is the time when you soul is finally freed from the weak and worn out body. It is the moment of rebirth when you spirit is allowed to soar through the universe and finally discover its fulfillment.

If death is a time of no more suffering and pain, no more sorrow and anguish, then why does humanity fear it so? As Kahlil Gibran, the Lebanese poet once said, “We fear death, yet we long for slumber and beautiful dreams.”

But always, I chose the path of life because it is the responsible thing to do. After all, the responsible person chooses that which will cause the less pain in others. I live because, I am told, they need me too. I live because it is expected of me.

Yet, as night covers the earth and the shadows race across the face of the moon, I am alone. My spirit weeps with the memories of silent sorrows. Tears that could not be cried, fears that could not be acknowledged to others. I am imprisoned in the darkness of the night and wonder when I shall delight in the dawn.

Pat O'Connor

January 13, 2007